Well hello all! I know I've neglected you for a long while now... Like, what? Several months? Yeah lets just glaze over that fact... So here is a quicky catch up on what I've been doing:
1. Went to Africa- Did good out there, got sick once and lost 10lbs while I was there!
2. Came home from Africa- So in the jumble of all the travel mess I've kept off that insane 10lbs and have continued to lose weight! Yay me!
3. MOVED. Holy hell. That whole ordeal is probably the most annoying damn thing I've been through this whole year.
So in the process of moving I was doing a bit of cleaning and of course the trash filled up and I had to travel out to the dumpster at my former apartment complex. As I was nearing my goal of the disgusting dumpsters I noticed a man pawing through the trash. He was doing it ever so slightly and only at the top. I think to myself "great, another dumpster diver..." and then I hear him call out to me. He says, "Do you need some help?" and since I was carrying a crap load (literally) of kitty litter and I said a quick and graceful "No thank you." So I amble up to the dumpster and get a good swing in to throw my feline fecal matter away and Mr. Sanchez (I don't know if that is actually his name I don't remember) introduces himself to me. He talks about how much money is just thrown away in the dumpsters with all the cans left behind from the college students. What he didn't know is that I just threw a ton of old wine bottles away. So, he keeps on talking about how hundreds of dollars are just there for the taking and pawing at the top level of the trash.
He starts to make some small talk with me and ask about the apartment complex because he is considering moving around here. I told him immediately not to waste his time or money at this place and referred him to a previous place I lived that was the same price and a higher quality of living. So then he asks me another question which was kind of odd, "Are you mexicana?" I just go no, not really... I'm Costa Rican. He then asks me another question which was EXTREMELY weird. "Are you single?" And I am completely caught off guard with that one. I just say "Uh yeah technically but I'm seeing someone right now." And he goes, "oh thats cool, I just wanna be friends." I tell him oh okay, thats cool. He comes back with another shot, "Hey, is there any way I can get your number? That's where I say No. No sorry... and whats going through my head is "EEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IS THIS GUY TRYING TO PICK ME UP AT A DUMPSTER!??!???!?!" I did somehow manage to keep a cool head and politely decline his offer. He then asked me where I lived. Another alarm went off in my head. He then tells me "I was gonna offer to bring some beer over and we can hang out!" No thank you Mr. Sanchez. I'm not interested in being attacked in my home that I hate. So I just explained that I'm moving the following day, and that we were really busy and I had to get back to my apartment and continue cleaning.
What I have failed to mention thus far is that when he introduced himself I accidentally gave him my real first name. I did a mental face palm about 50 times after saying my name, but then I just blew it off. So then as I am finally able to walk away from my new dumpster boyfriend he calls out to me and asks me what my last name is. I kept walking away but I turned to him and yelled back "STEVENS!" It did not occur to me that it was my pharmacists last name... it also didn't occur to me that there is an Alyssa Stevens on Campus. Sorry chick, Dirty Sanchez might look you up.
So when I got back to my apartment (checking over my shoulder the entire way to make sure I wasn't followed) I immediately got on my phone and called my gentleman caller and told him my interesting new story. I had a good laugh.
So since I couldn't ever remember his actual name we came up with Dirty Sanchez.
So there is my funny story. Enjoy!
1. Went to Africa- Did good out there, got sick once and lost 10lbs while I was there!
2. Came home from Africa- So in the jumble of all the travel mess I've kept off that insane 10lbs and have continued to lose weight! Yay me!
3. MOVED. Holy hell. That whole ordeal is probably the most annoying damn thing I've been through this whole year.
- In the moving business I'm not sure what all you know, but it was extremely stressful as you do know already. But due to the backing out of third roomie that left my current roomie and I homeless. So in the ballad of the search for our temporary forever home (while I was in Africa) there were many steps of mis. BUT long story short we ended up finding a place and had a blast and we are rounding out our first week and getting settled in.
- This morning I weighed in again and lost ANOTHER 4lbs! Yay me! I'm doing so good! And it will only get better once the semester starts so that I can attend the gym in the mornings. Get that damn stress out! Also probably going to go to therapy and go talk to a professional about all my "problems" Cause sometimes you just need a damn shrink. Which will probably help effect the shrinking waistline I seem to be having! HUZZAH!!!!!1!!11
So in the process of moving I was doing a bit of cleaning and of course the trash filled up and I had to travel out to the dumpster at my former apartment complex. As I was nearing my goal of the disgusting dumpsters I noticed a man pawing through the trash. He was doing it ever so slightly and only at the top. I think to myself "great, another dumpster diver..." and then I hear him call out to me. He says, "Do you need some help?" and since I was carrying a crap load (literally) of kitty litter and I said a quick and graceful "No thank you." So I amble up to the dumpster and get a good swing in to throw my feline fecal matter away and Mr. Sanchez (I don't know if that is actually his name I don't remember) introduces himself to me. He talks about how much money is just thrown away in the dumpsters with all the cans left behind from the college students. What he didn't know is that I just threw a ton of old wine bottles away. So, he keeps on talking about how hundreds of dollars are just there for the taking and pawing at the top level of the trash.
He starts to make some small talk with me and ask about the apartment complex because he is considering moving around here. I told him immediately not to waste his time or money at this place and referred him to a previous place I lived that was the same price and a higher quality of living. So then he asks me another question which was kind of odd, "Are you mexicana?" I just go no, not really... I'm Costa Rican. He then asks me another question which was EXTREMELY weird. "Are you single?" And I am completely caught off guard with that one. I just say "Uh yeah technically but I'm seeing someone right now." And he goes, "oh thats cool, I just wanna be friends." I tell him oh okay, thats cool. He comes back with another shot, "Hey, is there any way I can get your number? That's where I say No. No sorry... and whats going through my head is "EEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IS THIS GUY TRYING TO PICK ME UP AT A DUMPSTER!??!???!?!" I did somehow manage to keep a cool head and politely decline his offer. He then asked me where I lived. Another alarm went off in my head. He then tells me "I was gonna offer to bring some beer over and we can hang out!" No thank you Mr. Sanchez. I'm not interested in being attacked in my home that I hate. So I just explained that I'm moving the following day, and that we were really busy and I had to get back to my apartment and continue cleaning.
What I have failed to mention thus far is that when he introduced himself I accidentally gave him my real first name. I did a mental face palm about 50 times after saying my name, but then I just blew it off. So then as I am finally able to walk away from my new dumpster boyfriend he calls out to me and asks me what my last name is. I kept walking away but I turned to him and yelled back "STEVENS!" It did not occur to me that it was my pharmacists last name... it also didn't occur to me that there is an Alyssa Stevens on Campus. Sorry chick, Dirty Sanchez might look you up.
So when I got back to my apartment (checking over my shoulder the entire way to make sure I wasn't followed) I immediately got on my phone and called my gentleman caller and told him my interesting new story. I had a good laugh.
So since I couldn't ever remember his actual name we came up with Dirty Sanchez.
So there is my funny story. Enjoy!
