silverlight

This is the first entry to my psych journal of aging and adulthood:

#1

When speaking about developmental changes today, I can only think about my own “significant” developments in my own life. Yes I went through puberty, no I have not really dealt with any significant deaths in my family (although soon I will and I fear it). Just the other day at the ripe old age of Twenty Three years old I discovered my first grey hair. So many things ran through my head. The first thing that came to mind was how I am cursing my father for the crap genes he dealt me. Obviously it could not have been my mother because she didn’t start getting greys well into her thirties. The next thing that ran through my head was “I need to get rid of it.” It was right up front where I part my hair. It was just a lonely little sprout not even an inch long, but when I stared at myself for that split moment in the bathroom that night I instantly saw it. My brown hair has started to diminish into what is easily my only fear about aging. I can deal with the wrinkles, the “number” getting bigger and bigger, and all the horrible things associated with getting old. The one thing I expected to not change is the only thing that is changing. I quickly ran over the numbers in my head about how much it would cost to dye my hair on a semi-regular basis. As I am still in college this is not quite in my budget. I planned on doing vain things and not hiding my only fear. I should embrace my changing body and enjoy aging, but it seems that I have put way too much stress on my body and have doomed myself to a lifetime of hair salons and dye. I’ve lived a lifetime in my short years on this earth and if I keep the same pace that I’m going I will have at least two more lifetimes to live. I am going to have a full head of silver when I am 40 at the rate I am going. I always thought that when people obsessed over grey hairs were silly, and here I am joining in on the circus. I wish L’Oreal made my exact shade of brown so that at least I could just buy a box, but I love my hair too much to damage it with the crappy color from a box. All in all when the greys start showing up more than one at a time I will be ready for them with my hairdresser. When I was a kid I was always dying to grow up, Now that I am grown up I never thought I would be dyeing to stay young.